Who we are, you ask
Wine Barrel are leading providers of organic, home grown, 100% fictional wines. Unlike lesser, rival commpanies, we have the unique property of not really existing. Ha.
“But” – you might cry – “how can you not exist, when I see you here?” Indeed. Quite the existential pickle. If we were being clever, we might answer, “perhaps you’ve been drinking too much … wine?” But our mothers told us not to.
History
Wine Barrel were created by the vivid, fertile imaginations of a couple of very drunk people. Well, one really. I may have been drunk.
We’re not ashamed. Look, we sell wines, ok? What kind of twisted hypocrites would we be if we didn’t drink some? I mean, a LOT. Basically, all of it. We like wine. I’m thirsty.
The word Squifflesquash is invented, and not recognised, so it should appear as a potential spelling error. The word Linkedin is correctly spelled, but has the incorrect case.
Future
In the future, Wine Barrel plans to transport wines directly into your toilets, circumventing the need to drink entirely.
Our team of crackpot scientists are pioneering wines that make you hilarious and irresistible, whilst avoiding the unfortunate tendency to make you dance like a jellyfish on a cattle-prod and try to chat up Helga, your surprisingly bearded waitress. Sorry Helga.
