NAPA VALLEY, US
Napa Valley is really nice. I mean, not quite as nice as this photo suggests. I’m not even convinced that place is real. But it’s quite pretty, if you squint in the right light.
Of course Napa Valley is in America, which is a place – a country, in fact. You might have heard of it. They have a lot of Drive Thrus, which is like a “Drive Through”, except written by a four year old child. Not sure where I’m going with this. Anyway. Napa Valley wines! They’re tasty, probably.
LAVAUX REGION, SWITZERLAND
Switzerland is another place that looks nothing like this photo. Seriously. I don’t even know why we put those up there.
Famous not only for making holes in their cheese, Switzerland are also experts in putting holes into their wines. I’m not sure why they would do that, but – oh, apparently they don’t do that. So. Swiss wines. Fine wines that definitely don’t have holes in them.
SAINT-EMILION, FRANCE
France. Just saying it makes me feel more cultured, like a fine wine, or a mature petri dish. France France France. Mmm.
And you can absorb some of that fine petri dish culture by drinking French wines. They’re like, the inventor of wine, or something, I know, I read it somewhere once. Although I may have been drinking at the time. More wine!
SCHNAIT, GERMANY
Germany is a proud nation of people who are probably better than you. I mean, have you seen you?
And they know a thing or two about drinking beer, which is kind of like wine I guess, except more frothy and it tastes and looks and feels completely different in every way. Also they’re quite good at playing football. So if you want to be better at kicking leather shaped into a ball, German wines are for you!
SOUTHERN STYRIA, AUSTRIA
Austria is a country that I know nothing about.
But – but! – it sort of sounds like Australia, which is a fabulous place. Lovely. Filled with kangaroos. And shrimp, apparently. Honestly, my entire understanding of global culture came from one childhood trip to Disneyland, and I may have been high at the time. You should buy our wines, I guess.
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You don’t really want to add duplicate Heading 1 tags, as they mess with the semantic structure of the page. They also look kinda sucky.
